So -
I met with Rabbi Roston on Sunday. I learned a lot.

It started with me asking her to read my last blog - I decided that since I went on about Pondi Kesso that I had to bring her some, so I made her two of my favorite varieties - garlic chive and sun dried tomato.

Fearing that my non-kosher bowl would make her not want to eat them, I cooked them and wrapped them in tin foil and hurried off to the schul. This is an artistic interpretation of what I looked like...

So I show up and give her the Pondi Kesso - and she's "not hungry".

Figures!

BUT - she has had Pondi Kesso and thinks they're AMAZING.

Only one word can describe how I felt at that moment - AMAZING.

Her reaction to my blog - "WHAT DOES HE MEAN YOU CAN'T OBSERVE SHABBAS? EVEN THE GOYEM OBSERVE SHABBAS, THEY JUST DO IT ON SUNDAY!"

We then entered the Q & A portion of my meeting...And there was something I wanted to ask her about. Our conversation went something like this...

Me - "Something happened on Friday...something fell on Shabbas and I wanted to ask what it was."

Rabbi R- "Yes, the Munich 11."

Me- "No, it had a Jewish Name. It's like - the day all this crappy stuff happened to Jews in History".

This was where she got quiet - She explained that the day I am referring to is

Tisha B'Av

(Hebrew: תשעה באב‎ or ט׳ באב, "the Ninth of Av,") is an annual fast day in Judaism, named for the ninth day (Tisha) of the month of Av in the Hebrew calendar. The fast commemorates the destruction of both the First Temple and Second Temple in Jerusalem, which occurred about 655 years apart, but on the same Hebrew calendar date.^[1] Although primarily meant to commemorate the destruction of the Temples, it is also considered appropriate to commemorate other Jewish tragedies that occurred on this day, most notably the expulsion of the Jews from Spain in 1492, one of the concluding events of the Iberian Reconquista.^[2]Accordingly, the day has been called the "saddest day in Jewish history".^[3]

She then explained that it's a FAST day...she said "I was trying to avoid bringing it up, cause it sounds like you had a rough couple of days."

I learned a few important things -

1. My feelings are important to Rabbi R
2. It's wrong to bring your dietitian chocolates at your first meeting
3. It's wrong to bring you Rabbi food on Tisha B'av (even if it's kosher crack bread, I meant CHEESE bread)

Here is an artistic interpretation of how I felt at that moment -

So - We continued to talk and we established that YES I can go to Morning Minyan and as I suspected I don't count toward the qourum of 10 Jews (at least not yet!)

We also established that I needed a job title. My previous Job title - "Gentile" no longer fit my job description, but I haven't grown into my new role as "Jew" so we established that I am a "J.I.T. = JEW-in-TRAINING"!

There is apparently another term used - but for some reason this one has stuck with me... so I'm running with it people....kinda like this...

It wouldn't be fair not to include an artistic representation of Rabbi R -

(please mentally subtract wings and add brown hair and a KIPPAH)

So I am really pleased to say that this morning I attended a morning Minyan!

A Minyan is...

A minyan (Hebrew: מִנְיָן‎ lit. to count, number; pl. מִניָנִים minyanim) in Judaism refers to the quorum of ten Jewish adults required for certain religious obligations. According to many non-Orthodox streams of Judaism, adult females count in the minyan.^[1]^[2]

The most common activity requiring a minyan is public prayer. Accordingly, the term minyan in contemporary Judaism has taken on the secondary meaning of referring to a prayer service.

So That's This Many Jews...

and this morning...this many Shiksas...

So - at morning minyan you go through the prayers that are required to observe morning services. During these prayers you are required to wear a kippah, a Tallis or Tallith (you say tomato...) and Teffilin .

For some reason - the first time I saw the word "Teffilin" I thought it was Teflon and got excited because I thought - "Jews are so Crafty, they invented and wore Teflon!"

I just want to say that that is NOT the case. I also want to say that I read it the first time while incredibly tired, and possibly on Pondi Kesso...

To claim that Jews invented and wear teflon makes me look like this....

In reality - Tefillin are the cube-shaped black leather boxes, containing four scriptural passages, attached to the head and arm and worn during the morning prayers.

so - of course on the one morning I DON'T have to wake up at 4 am to work, I wake up at 7:30...giving me a whole 15 minutes to get up, get dressed and get to the temple. For some reason, I was completely freaking out about what to wear - so I guess you could say I kind of "dressed for church". I put on a nice dress, a cardigan and ran out the door.

Well - I missed the memo or the email and was probably the most overdressed person there. The only person dressed nicer than me was a guy going into work after we were done...

Now Rabbi R had told me to find a nice guy named "Sam" who would be my guide through the service. It wouldn't be far not to give Sam an artistic rendering so here's my new pal, Sam -

So - Sam did a great job of making me feel welcome. He grabbed me a Siddur (prayer book) and tried to explain the ins and outs of services.

In my opinion, Morning Minyan could be an Olympic Event. I don't think I've ever attended a prayer service, or any meeting of people for that matter that went this fast and had the routine down this pat.. And what made it confusing is that the siddur is in Hebrew on the right side, English on the left (which no on really reads) and some little pieces are transliterated (that's where they spell it out foe-net-ic-ly = )

Thank God for the person who used this particular siddur before me - they took pity on a poor girl and wrote in "SIT, STAND, and BOW" in the appropriate places so I didn't look completely stupid.

Sam was also very helpful in telling me what pages we were on, as the service changes based on the days of the week, particular months and periods between seasons and also based on what number the hebrew year is divisible by (it's kind of confusing).

Things I wish I had known before I walked in -

They collect Tzedakah during service. This is kind of like the collections in a catholic mass, however the group picks a needy local organization to donate the money to. Sam said last year they rasied $7,000 for a local organization (not too shabby)
It is not standard to have TWO Tzadakah cups or boxes as this minyan did. I asked Sam what the significance was, and he explain it's roots - two people brought in cups, they liked both and used both. At first they were doing 1 local and 1 national charity but that was too much to track, but they still liked both cups...I can accept that.
A function of the morning minyan is to say Kaddish. Kaddish is prayer usually said to break up sections of a service, but the most well known Kaddish is the Mourner's Kaddish which is said after the death of a friend or family member. Morning Minyans are used as a way for those in morning to meet with other Jews and pray for departed loved ones.
Morning Minyan is not a fashion show.

After minyan we had breakfast! On Tuesdays they eat bagels and lox...in my future culinary studies, I will need to learn to like lox and eat less Pondi Kesso...maybe if they develop a lox and cream cheese one....hmmmm...

It was very short - but I really liked it. I can't even describe why. Maybe it's because it's a tradition. Sam was explaining to me that on certain days they take out the torah, and how this comes from the tradition of there being a market on those particular days.

This is definitely a service that I wan to learn more about - I plan on going back next Tuesday.

Here's to another adventure on my journey to become...