I promise after the Holidays to post a deeper reflection based on the Holidays and my experiences, but today I feel like I need to be lighthearted.
How this started...
As you can tell by the date, we are getting ready for the High Holidays - which I can't say right and I'm not referring to the words "Rosh Hasanah" or "Yom Kippur" either...I mean I can't say "High Holidays".
What does she mean she can't say "High Holidays"?
Ok - here's how it started....
(THIS IS A TRUE STORY)
A few months ago, my mother called a business to discuss their pricing. The man on the phone
(who had a really thick accent) said - "That's the price on all days, except for the Holy Days".
After she got off the phone - she calls me and says - "What are the Holy Days?"
I told her that there are a lot of Holy Days - which religion?
She said she wasn't sure...so we began to look up Holy Days...
I won't bore you...but there are A LOT of Holy Days around the world.
Finally - I told her to call the guy back and just ask him what Holy Days he meant.
Here is the conversation VERBATIM -
My Mom - "Yes, Hi I called before and you said that the price is the same on all
days, except the HOLY DAYS. Which HOLY DAYS are you referring to?"
The Man with the THICK Accent - "You know, the Holy Days - Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day..."
So - since then, I have continued to pronounce "Holiday" as HOLY DAYS.
I know it's terrible....but in this instance it's ok...cause these literally are the HIGH HOLY DAYS.
Anyway -
I find myself coming upon Rosh Hanasanah!
The Jewish New Year!
I'd like to truly believe that...
We start - with "Shana Tovah". Literally - Happy New Year.
So - I need to start by wishing you and your loved ones...
Ok - So this year I decided that I didn't just want to come by and sit through services. I wanted to become involved, and perform a Mitzvah! So I volunteered to be an usher...
I receive an email with a list of things to do, and procedures...here was the issue.
Some of the stuff I had NO IDEA what it meant, so I emailed the usher coordinator to ask.
Here are my ORIGINAL questions -
1. What are "honors"?
2. What is a "Gabbaim"?
3. What is a "Morah"?
4. What is appropriate dress for ushers?
5. Do I have to wear a kippa?
Here is the response I received from my new friend Pete (at least I'd be honored to call Pete my friend!)
You are asking this from someone who was once a member of the Congregation for Humanistic Judaism in Westport, CT. We were just this side of Unitarians. Our building I called ‘Our Lady of B’nai Brith”.
Taking each question as they come:
1. Honors-Certain members of Beth El, in recognition for their service to the congregation throughout the year, are ask to participate or assist in the service., i.e. open and close the ark, recite an alyah, hold the Torah.
2. Gabbim-No, it does not mean someone who talks a lot. The gabbim also assist in the service by directing those with honors to go to the bima and help with moving the service along
3. Morah-When Cantor Fine was at Beth El, his wife was referred to as Morah Micki. It actually means teacher. However, when I am fund raising I would ask those who donate to give morah. You pick the definition.
4. As an usher, you wear what you would ordinarily wear to synagogue for the high holy days-basically tasteful. A strapless gown would not be appropriate. Jeans would not be appropriate. Beyond that-I ain’t goin near it.\
5. You do not have to wear a kippa but it would be nice but not mandatory. However, if you are called to the bima, it is best to wear a kippa.
To sum up this irreverent response, you may not be a recipient of honors. However, you are doing a mitzvah by volunteering to be a gabbim or an appropriately dressed usher, with or without a kippa. We could not ask for anything morah.
As part of your being a Jew in training perhaps you should also understand a bit of Yiddish. For example, chutzpa is defined as someone who kills his mother and father and pleads on the court’s mercy as an orphan. A schlemiel is a person who spills coffee. A schlamazel is the person on whom the coffee was spilled.
(btw - I will totally do an upcoming blog dedicated to Yiddish...)
This completely messed with my head...Why?
Cause this is the only Schlemiel & Schlemazel I knew...
So - I wasn't sure what it means. But I know this...they're doing it their way...just like I'm doing it my way. It's something we both have in common with Burger King.
So - I began to look into what Schlemiel & Schlemazel mean...
Here's what I found.
Ok...
So this explination now brings me to these two Schlemazels -
Anyway - so then I became fascinated with Jewish Humor.
Here is a sample of the article I read on myjewishlearning.com about the History of Jewish Humor...
Jews have been seeing the humor in their lives for a very long time. The Bible itself recounts how Sarah laughed when told she'd have a child, and our forefather Isaac is named for that laughter. The Talmud, particularly in theaggadic (narrative) sections, is replete withwitty asides and repartees, and in one famous account, the Talmud speaks of even God laughing. (Consider the theological implications of a God with sense of humor!) During the medieval period, the valuation of humor was institutionalized in Jewish communal customs, perhaps most famously in Purim shpiels, comic plays based on the book of Esther, which continue today in Jewish communities across the globe.But Jewish humor as a distinctive cultural phenomenon first lights up in 19th century Eastern Europe. There, in the marketplace, the synagogue, and in the home, the Jewish joke developed into its own recognizable species. The shtetl (village) became home for the new Jewish-humor folk tradition--stories of the fools inhabiting the town of Chelm but one example. Sustaining and enriching this street humor were new Jewish texts. Jewish writers--including Mendele Mokher Seforim, Sholem Aleichem, and I.L. Peretz, along with playwrights such as Abraham Goldfaden--mined the bittersweet grumbling of the Jewish ethos and produced lasting classics of Jewish humor, which in turn fed the comic banter of Jewish daily exchange.Jewish humor, insists one standard view, is all about coping: Jews were miserable, and laughter kept them going. Jewish psychologists further deconstructed Jewish humor as introjections of this external hostility--in other words, self-mockery. Freud writes, "I do not know whether there are many other instances of a people making fun to such a degree of its own character." Other commentators suggested the Jewish jest is a survival tactic: By altering one's perspective, the Jew can accept the unsympathetic world for what it was. "Want to alleviate your big-time worries? Put on a tighter shoe," advises the Yiddish proverb.
And I found this incredible. I've always said that I had to laugh at my life - or I'd cry. And here I thought I was original....
I look forward to further study of Jewish Humor...and am looking forward to the High Holy Days....
I know this for a fact!
I forgot!
I think my town has created a limo service just for me -well, really for any JITs or Jews-in-Training
The Maplewood Jitney
(and it stops right in across the street from my house! How's THAT for service?!?)
You're hilarious!!!!
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